If y’all are reading this, you presumably know that I travel a LOT for my job, and I do the majority of it cross dressed. Yepper, I definitely qualify as an expert when it comes to “flying pretty”. In fact, at the risk of bragging, I'm pretty sure that I am the one that coined that particular phrase a few years ago. :)
I get countless comments and emails asking for advice on flying, and so this post is intended to address the majority of those questions and concerns.
Anyway, here is my post on the “do’s”, the “Don’ts”, and the “how to” of flying when you are transgender.
1.
Surprisingly enough, the airlines and the TSA are experienced and well trained in the
proper way to deal with the transgendered. You are not going to shock or
surprise them, and they are not going to hassle you.
2.
Never try and
fool the airline or the TSA as to your real name or gender. If you are gonna
fly pretty, you just need to accept it in advance that the airline and the TSA
people you are going to deal with will know beyond any shadow of a doubt
who and what you are. If you can not accept this, then you should just go ahead
and skip the whole adventure and fly drab. The reality is, if you make any effort to hide
your real name or gender from the airline or the TSA, I can 100% guarantee you
that you will not be boarding an
airplane and you may even end up spending some quality time speaking with law
enforcement.Don't get me wrong, this does not mean that you need to approach any of these
people and wave your hand frantically above your head while shouting "I am Transgender!" What it does mean is that you need to give your real
information when you book the flight, and you need to present a legal and
unaltered state or federal ID that gives your true and legal information.
3.
As implied above, you do not need to specifically tell the people that
you interact with "I am transgender." Let's face it, when you
are dressed as one gender, and present an ID showing that you are technically the other, this is
abundantly clear and so there is no need to state it.
4.
Don't worry, your legal ID will be just fine. As I said,
the TSA is used to seeing this and it won’t throw them for a loop. The
inspector will probably look long and hard at you and your ID, but he will
ultimately pass you through. In the hundreds of flights that I've taken, I only
ran into an issue once with this and it was because of a brand new inspector
who was still being trained. In that case, she just quietly called her
supervisor over and he politely asked if I might have another form of ID to
show them just to give them more confidence that I was the same person shown in the ID.
Even with this small hiccup, they were quiet and respectful, and at no time did
I feel like I was getting undue attention. Quite honestly I was honored - they really had trouble believing that I was a guy!
5.
Shoes! I can't speak for anyone else, but I love my
pretty shoes and it will be a cold day in hell before I travel in flat or
boring shoes! Now having said that, you do need to use a little common
sense. Two or three times I have headed off to a 12 hour day in airports
wearing new shoes that I thought were awesome and reasonably
comfortable, just to discover after a bit of walking that I had made a serious
mistake because the shoes were too tight or too loose and wound up being very
painful by the end of a day of walking. The moral of the story is that you
need to keep in mind that a day of traveling by airline can involve a lot of
walking and so you need to be sure that your shoes are going to be
comfortable enough for the long haul and hike.
6.
You also want to keep in mind that your shoes will have
to come off when going through security. A lot of women's shoes have a number
of small straps and buckles that can make for an amusing spectacle for those
around you while you are balancing and hopping on one foot while trying to take them off.
So my advice is to plan ahead - either wear shoes that are easy to get off and
on while you are standing, or just stop and loosen the buckles before you
enter the security line.
7.
With the advent of the new back-scatter body scanners,
traveling pretty just became a bit more annoying. It will quite likely flag you
for further inspection if you wear a corset or if
your garment has any kind of decoration on it like sequins. Not to worry
though, because the worst case scenario has you pulled to the side and patted
down by a TSA inspector of the gender that you are presenting as. In fact, in my opinion, you should just go
ahead and be mentally prepared for this pat down inspection to happen in any
case. It is quick and professional and no big deal, so just be mentally
prepared for it and don't get anxious if you are called to the side for one.
8.
When it comes to wearing breast forms, you enter a
slightly gray area. They are considered a medical prosthesis and so are allowed
through the check point despite exceeding the maximum size for liquids and
gels. The gray area is that I think you technically should declare them and send them
through the x-ray machine to be inspected. In practice though, I have gone
through these check points twice a week at countless airports around the United
States and not one single time has anyone commented on it. My advice is to say
nothing and just go ahead and wear them through the check point. If they want
to make a fuss about them (and again, I fly a lot and they never have said
anything) then the worst case scenario is that you may be asked to step aside
for further inspection.
9.
Something that most women would think of but that might
not occur to all of us MTF, is that the makeup you are carrying in your purse or carry-on is probably
a liquid or a gel, and so it must be treated as such. This means that it has to
be placed in a medium sized zip-lock bag and sent through the x-ray machine. If
you leave it in your carry-on or your purse, it will be caught, and you will
be pulled aside. If you do not want the hassle or the attention, then just
place it in the zip-lock bag and place it in the bin as you are supposed to.
10. Oh,
and don't forget that your sparklies (jewelry) will have to come off before you
go through security. Your wedding ring can stay on, and if your ear rings are
small and modest, you can probably get away with leaving them on too, but nothing
more. So take the bracelets, bangles, and large ear rings off before you go
through security.
11. Bathrooms
can be a bit more dicey, but probably not the major show stopper that a lot of
us would fear it to be. Most modern airports of any size will have
"special needs / Family" bathrooms available that are gender neutral.
Again, this is with the larger airports - all bets are off for the really small
regional airports. All of the international airports I have been to have these
private bathrooms, but some only have one or two, and some have a lot of them.
I have not made any effort to specifically note which ones have them or where
they are, but off of the top of my head I can tell you that Austin, Detroit,
and Atlanta have them all over the place - pretty much everywhere there is a
male and female bathroom, you will also find these "special needs"
bathrooms. Salt Lake City, DFW, and Charlotte have a few scattered here and
there through the terminals, but they are not at every restroom location. Oh, and don't forget that the bathrooms on the plane are gender neutral, so if you can hold it until the plane is up in the air, then you will be good-to-go!
12. What
do you do if there is no gender neutral bathroom available? I would have to be
honest - I don't have a full-proof answer for you on that one and so you will
need to make your own decision. Considering the possible consequences, I am
going to be brutally honest here. In my case, I am not entirely passable,
but I think that I am close enough that people are not sure if I am male
or not, and so they are unlikely to make a fuss if they see me entering or
leaving the women's bathroom. Now you are gonna have to be brutally
honest with yourself. Are you at least passable enough that people won’t
be sure that you are male? Do you think it will make a difference if
they know for certain that you are a male? I can't answer those questions for
you . . .
I think that takes care of most of the fussy details, so I'll also offer a few general suggestions:
1.
The very first trip that I made, I was scared to death,
and so I had a “back up and punt” plan in place. I had a Tupperware container filled
with water in my car, along with a washrag, soap, and a change of clothes. I
figured that if things got ugly, my worst case scenario would have me washing
up and changing my clothes in the car, and then returning to the airline
counter. Mind you, I know for certain that you will not need this plan, but it
may give you confidence knowing that you will have that option available to
you.
2.
When I travel in the summer time, I carry a small bar
of soap (think Hotel soap) and a small thing of deodorant in my liquids and
gels bag. Wearing a wig, breast forms, hip pads, nylons, and a face covered in
makeup, all while carrying my tool box, luggage, and a backpack around in the
heat, can make for a bit of an unpleasant situation. While I have only rarely
had to actually use them, I want the option of cleaning up and smelling
presentable if I need it.
3.
I always stop before entering the TSA checkpoint
and get prepared for it. I take my sparklies off and put them in my purse. I
undo the buckles on my shoes, and depending upon the shoes, I may just take them off entirely and carry them with me. I take out my laptop and liquids and gels bag. That
way, when I get to the x-ray belt, all I have to do is put my stuff on the
belt, and reach down and slip my shoes off. This sounds silly, but I guarantee
you that the first time you fly pretty, you are going to be very nervous
and extremely self-conscious, and you would be surprised at just how
ungraceful this is going to make you. You will be likely to fumble with and
drop things, and otherwise look silly as hell, so it will be much
better for you if you just get prepared before entering the checkpoint so that
you just have to set your stuff on the x-ray belt and go.
4.
At the other end of the x-ray belt, don't stand right there
to put your stuff back together. When you sent it through the x-ray machine,
you probably had to place your things into a plastic tub or bin. Just pick up
your bags and that bin and take them off to the side where you can always find
seats set aside just for this purpose. There, you can put yourself and your things back
together in comfort and without everyone standing around you and waiting for
you to get out of their way. If you want to demonstrate the value of this principle to yourself, next time you get dressed, try putting your strappy heels on while standing, and just imagine that there are a dozen people standing behind you and waiting on you, and the conveyor belt in front of you is shoving all of your things and theirs down to the end in an avalanche of bags and belongings. But no pressure . . .
5.
As hard as it may be to do while you are scared and
nervous, try to relax and enjoy yourself, and try to be friendly to people. We are
a bit unusual, and not everyone has actually met people like us. You have the chance to make their first
impression of the transgendered, so do us all a favor and try to show them
someone that smiles and is friendly!
All that I have provided above is based upon my own personal experience, and so may be considered subjective, so I am also adding a link to a page on transequality.org that provides you with the official links and information regarding the topic. My thanks to Amanda Daniels and Mara Keisling for bringing it to my attention!
http://www.transequality.org/Resources/AirportSecurity_November2013.pdf